Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a damn if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too 'yucky'.
Same work ... more pay.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?".
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and barbers don't rob you blind.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You have freedom of choice concering growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
DAMN, IT'S GOOD TO BE A MAN!
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